What is Spiritual Bypassing?
“I’m gonna hit her. I swear to God. I’m gonna do it.”
This was a text to my friend, from her former roommate. This girl is an Aries, so you know she was NOT kidding.
Brittany*, the Aries’s roommate, had been practicing scream therapy in their house while everyone was working from home… Again.
When Aries – the goddamn director of research at a company – kindly asked her to do her primal shrieking outside, or in her car, her response was:
“I can’t believe you are trying to stop my growth. It’s so unsupportive and unfair.”
If you’re thinking, “This bitch,” you’re not alone.
Brittany has somehow ended up living with multiple people who are connected to me, including my friend. Only for a short time, though – because she creates a wake of destruction wherever she goes.
She’s the kind of person who is constantly “working on herself” with alternative or spiritual practices…
But is still selfish, toxic, and as far from enlightenment as you could possibly be.
Unfortunately, Brittany is also a huge mirror for me. Or rather, Past Me.
I’ve been toxic in some of the very same ways. I’ve been a grade-A Terrible Roommate™. I’ve tried to not be accountable for being an inconsiderate dick. I refused to love myself or truly deal with my emotions and caused others problems because of it.
(I didn’t scream at 10am, thank God. But as someone who used to binge eat, I would eat my roommates’ food without asking… and I was justifiably confronted about it multiple times. It’s one of my most embarrassing and shameful things that makes me go UGH, ARIANA! WTH was wrong with you? )
This was all while I was reading Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein – side note, INCREDIBLE book – using tarot cards, trying to tap into my intuition more, and attempting to heal all my issues through high-level concepts of spirituality.
Basically, I was doing the thing that Brittany does now, which makes it so hard to grow: Spiritual Bypassing.
What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing is essentially using high-minded ideas about spirituality, connecting to the universe, psychicness, magic, etc. to try to heal ourselves in order to avoid the work we need to do here on the physical plane to heal our lives.
Basically, we are doing all the movements of spirituality – looking like we’re “doing the big work” – without understanding or even really caring about the reason behind the practices.
It’s looking for a silver bullet to our problems without committing to the actual growth.
Both Brittany and I are shining example of this. She has a lot of mental and emotional problems to work through, mostly around her self-worth, that she tries to solve through popular practices.
She does yoga.
She writes in a gratitude journal.
She writes “deep” inspirational posts on instagram preaching growth and compassion.
She once did a cleanse where she ate ONLY raw garlic for like, a week (Yes. Raw. I told you, the girl has problems).
But lo and behold, she’s still struggling with the same low self-esteem, control issues, victim mindset, and poor relationships.
She’s not any closer to enlightenment, and she’s still exhibiting the same disturbing behaviors.
How do I know if I am spiritually bypassing my problems?
It’s different for everyone, but here are some pretty good indicators:
You constantly spend time on things like yoga, meditation, gratitude journals.. but don’t actually see results from them***
You’re frequently looking outside yourself (through spiritual modalities) for answers
You ignore the “3D” world (physical plane) and focus only on the “5D” (spiritual plane)
You don’t take care of your mental or emotional health
You don’t take care of or show love to your physical self that’s right here on planet Earth
You try to eat raw garlic to solve your problems. Kidding. Kind of.
***NOTE: If you like doing yoga, meditating, doing gratitude journals, you don’t have to stop doing that!
It’s all about the intention behind your practices.
If you are doing this to run away from your problems, seem cool or enlightened, feel better than other people, or any of those ego-based things… my dear, you are trying to take a fast lane to happiness that does not exist.
The key to stop spiritual bypassing so you can heal, grow, and like your life (and self) more
I think the biggest cause of spiritual bypassing is a misunderstanding of how our spirits or ethereal selves are connected to our earthly selves.
We act like they’re two different things. They are not.
Our bodies and emotional bodies are the manifestation of our souls in this dimension. So when you heal yourself in “normal,” mainstream, unsexy ways, you heal yourself spiritually as well… and vice versa.
These can include, but are not limited to:
Accepting yourself as much as possible
Holding space for your emotions instead of trying to meditate, yoga, or reiki them away
Forgiving others
Forgiving yourself
Eating well and exercising in a way that makes you feel good
Taking accountability for your actions
Healing your relationships
Finding and understanding your emotional triggers or “hotspots”
Therapy, if you’re into that
Taking medication for mental health issues (if this feels right)
Spirituality is not a magic pill. Healing is healing. Everything is connected.
You know how people say, “Your body is a temple,” and “Trust your gut”?
It’s because your body isn’t something to go beyond or ignore in order to connect with spirituality. It is the very portal you use to attain the enlightenment, joy, and freedom you are looking for.
I know that doesn’t sound as cool at first, but it’s actually really, REALLY cool. Think about it – you already have all that rad shit like intuition and connection to source/god/the universe inside of you. You can tap into it at any time!
Note: I’m not here how to tell you how to live your life
Listen. I’m not sharing this because I’m a guru or anything. If anything, I’m a urug, which is what is guru backwards and what I imagine is its total opposite.
But I’ve been through this and it really made my life harder than it had to be… because oftentimes true connection to life is right in front of us, and we miss it.
Still, I think this is so important to hear for anyone who wants to really heal and connect more deeply with the universe.
So I really hope this helps you, even if just a little bit. If you have Qs, feel free to drop them in the comments!
With so much love,
Ariana
* Brittany ain’t her real name, if you haven’t guessed yet.