Ah, here we are. 26.

26 times I’ve been around the sun. 21 times I’ve realized that my birthday is not actually a federal holiday like I thought it was, or any official holiday for that matter. 15 times I’ve thought, “Why hasn’t the national government gotten back to me on that request I keep sending to make this a federal holiday?”

Anyway, today the day has come when I share the inevitable article where I use my birthday as an excuse to word-vomit my beliefs onto you. 26 of them, to be exact.

I’d actually say most of them are realizations that REALLY changed my life for the better, so this is actually less of a gift for me than it is for you.

You’re welcome.

(P.S. I work on most of these things daily. As a 5/1 profile, that’s why I teach this! It’s the deep digging + learning I’m doing, and then universalizing for others rapidly. Sometimes while I’m still going through it. Or before. Lol.)

1. Everyone operates differently — and they were meant to.

The three of us are VERY different, and yet we all bring something amazing to the table. Gillian brings unparalleled enthusiasm, Rohit brings more knowledge about Kanye than I will ever have, and I… took this picture

This is one of, like, 5 million reasons I love Human Design. It teaches us that the way you want to do things is really the way you should do things!

Just because your approach looks really different than how you were taught it “should,” doesn’t mean it’s incorrect or won’t get you where you want to be.

That’s because what makes you different? It’s not a bad thing.

It’s your superpower.

2. The universe will help you if you let it.

The more you allow it to help you, the more it will. The more you believe it wants to help you, the more it will. You don’t have to do it all on your own.

Just ask and be open to receiving, especially in surprising/unexpected ways.

3. Not everything you think is true.

First off, even though our minds like to tell us we know the whole story, we usually don’t.

Second, that story it tells us isn’t just often untrue, IT IS USUALLY VERY FREAKING AND UNNECESSARILY MEAN. It’s to protect us from other people being mean to us, but often times it just holds you back, man.

Don’t believe everything you think!

4. Yes, even THAT (whatever THAT is for you).

I’m putting this here again because it’s so damn important.

If you’re like I was for a really, really long time, it’s easy to think, “How could I not believe that [I’m ugly, that person hates me, I’m bad at my job, I’ll never lose weight, I’m a loser]? There’s so much proof in front of me!”

But… is there, actually?

When we really get down to the CONCRETE PROOF, we realize we’ve come up with a lot of stories we can’t actually prove.

We just think it’s true because of the beliefs we already have.

5. Feelings come from thoughts — specifically, from believing those thoughts.

This changed my life.

When I say “feelings,” I don’t mean emotions. Emotions, at least from the Human Design perspective (which I agree with), are pure energy that run through you as a way to more deeply experience life in a beautiful way.

Feelings are what come up when you believe your thoughts to be true; when you attach to a thought. This could be good, it could be bad — whatever it is, the thought is the seed.

If you’re feeling bad, feelings aren’t the problem. It’s your beliefs. THAT is what you need to change.

6. You get to decide which thoughts you believe — and thus, what you want to feel.

Yeah. Go ahead. Hate me.

As someone who was deeply depressed for years, I hated to hear this. I didn’t understand it.

I really felt like it wasn’t true, that my thoughts were runaway trains that I didn’t control and couldn’t get a hold on.

However, when I accepted that I was CHOOSING to believe thoughts — which I didn’t have to believe or even hold onto — I made space for a new of way of thinking that lifted me out of a deep, long-lasting depression to where I am now.

7. You can’t control what other people think of you.

This is the most freeing thing I ever realized (even though it sucked at first).

Sure, you can do your best. But no matter what, you can’t guarantee the end result.

You could try really hard and someone might like you, but you could do the exact same thing and someone might think, “Ugh, I really didn’t like how much he/she/they did ________.”

Even if you could, what they think isn’t necessarily “the truth!’

I know it’s really easy to feel like when a lot of people have told you you’re X, you’re X — but who the hell are they to say?

It’s not gospel. They’re not an objective God-like figure. They’re people, just like you!

8. Even THE COOLEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD feel really, really uncool and shitty sometimes.

And the people who want to make you feel weird for feeling like that? They’re often the people who feel like that the most.

Everyone feels uncool sometimes, even Alex Knost, whose cool levels are over 9,000.

9. There is no one “standard.” The only way you could ever be wrong or less-than is if you believe there is one.

We have all been told that there is one way to do, but also one way to BE: beautiful, successful, cool, impressive, loved, etc.

So untrue.

YOU are the standard.

I’ll say this over and over again, but it’s all subjective. If there was one standard for these things, it would be the same across the entire planet — and it ain’t.

10. Having a lot of energy, being friendly, and not being “chill” doesn’t make you lame.

*Can you tell I’m the person who usually asks to do this pose*

Growing up, I felt like that was a problem, because people would act like that was sooooooo uncool. They would treat me like I was too excited about… IDK, life, I guess? Apparently it’s not cool to care or be friendly or engaged or have energy levels higher than Daria from the 90s cartoon Daria?

So, I tried for a long time to smush that down — and tried to care less.

But as I got older, I met lots of people who LOVE the fact that I’m happy and excited… because they don’t have to pretend to be chill, either.

(And I think those “cool kids” are actually pretty fucking lame and colorless now.)

TL;DR – It’s not wrong to love life, be excited, and have no chill. It just means you have a fucking personality.

11. There are so lots of different ways to get what you want (way more than society tells you there are).

Just take an objective look around, and you’ll see the proof.

“Unattractive” people find true, deep love.

“Unqualified” people find great success.

“Uncool” people find friends, audiences, and clients who think they’re the bomb.

It all just depends on whether or not you are willing to believe you don’t have to be “that” to get what you want.

12. If you don’t have it now, you don’t need it yet (or, it’s better for you to have it later).

When we want something NOW, it’s easy to forget that it might not actually be the best time for us to have it.

My favorite example: Finding your soulmate or a partner.

I know someone who married her soulmate when she was 42. For many people, that seems “late,” but he was really struggling with alcoholism for years before that and would not have been in a good place to have a relationship at ALL! Now, they’ve been happily married for like 15 years.

This is true for whatever it is you want, be it a different job, a new house, more clients, a collaboration with that person you admire, etc!

13. If you’re super confused on which way to go, you either (a) don’t need to know right now or (b) already know the answer and don’t like it.

14. If you feel like something you want is impossible, remember that you don’t know what the universe is planning (because you can’t see all of it).

You don’t know what you don’t know. There are lots of things going on behind the scenes that you’re not seeing right now.

You might get a $1000 check in the mail tomorrow when you need to buy something. You might get offered a job at the last minute. An old friend might reach out to get drinks and they connect you with the landlord of an awesome new apartment building. You never know!

Things can change in an instant, and you wouldn’t even see it coming.

(This is important for everyone, but especially if you’re a generator/MG or nonspecific manifestor!)

15. The fastest way to turn on your intuition is to listen to your body.

When we’re trying to connect to our intuition, it’s easy to think of the body as this annoying lump of meat that keeps asking for sandwiches and sleep.

BUT, it’s actually THE TOP WAY your intuition speaks to you.

Your need for rest and work, your little tingles, your physical pulls-and-pushes, even your food cravings — these are all muy importante ways that your intuition is speaking to you!*

*PLUS, when you start to listen to these hits, you’ll likely start to get what you “traditionally” think of as intuitive hits as well — like clairaudience, clairvoyance, etc.

16. Don’t judge your “insides” against someone’s “outsides.”

The sage of all sages, AKA my mom, taught me this.

We know everything about our own thoughts, beliefs, and problems. We know our whole story. But when it comes to other people, we can really only see what they show us on the outside.

And that is NEVER the whole story!

17. The less you judge your emotions, the faster they will run their course.

*Coco doesn’t judge her emotions, and that’s why she’s so at peace with herself. That, and Emily lets her sleep on the couch.*

Emotions are neither good nor bad, but you have to know that either way — when you try to fight them, they’ll stick around. If you let them flow through + know they’re not you, you’ll speed up the healing process.

18. Don’t drink a bottle of white wine on an empty stomach.

One time in Florida, I ordered a glass of cabernet sauvignon at a restaurant. The waiter brought me a sauvignon blanc. When I told him, “Oh! I actually ordered a cabernet,” he said, “No, you didn’t. You ordered white wine.” I knew he was wrong. Want to know how I know he was wrong?

Because I don’t drink white wine, ever since I DRANK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WHITE WINE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

Drink responsibly.

19. Awareness/recognition is the first step to making a big change (sometimes it’s the only step!)

Recognition + insight are huge.

A healer I’ve followed has said that when something comes up in your awareness — especially if it’s another round of it happening — it’s usually about 90% healed.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS –> 2 solutions:

Tell your subconscious you are open to hearing what it is. Then be aware and notice what comes up for you (it might be at a random time).
Follow Louise Hay’s method and just touch your throat and say, “I am releasing whatever is causing this block/result in my life.” You may find out what it is, or it might just dissipate on its own. Sometimes we don’t need to know!

20. If you’re trying to make a change and still struggling — remember that your body needs time to catch up with your mind sometimes.

It’s not that you’re lazy, dumb, or weak.

When you’re making a big change, whether that be kicking a habit or transforming your life, you need to be aligned in order to do that, and sometimes the body just has a little lag time.

So give yourself a break. You’re doing great!

21. The best way to shut down an annoying, aggressive, argumentative person is just say, “That’s fine, you have the right to believe that.”

Seriously, it works every time. Watch how disappointed they get.

It’s awesome.

22. Detachment = the #1 way to manifest what you want on speedy mode.

We tend to get exactly what we’re looking for when we’re not actively looking for it.

If you follow your manifestation style and just step back — instead of keeping your desire in a death grip — it will come so much easier.

Want more money? Focus on what feels good and watch it flow in. Want a life partner? Wow, they found you while you were deep in work at a coffee shop. Want more free alcohol? Go out dancing in Austin on a night when you weren’t planning to drink, and watch a stranger plop a tequila shot in front of you.

Works EVERY time.

23. Almost everything you want from other people, you can (and need to first) give yourself.

**24. It’s just not personal.**

If someone hates you or alienates you or calls you stupid, it’s all a reflection of themselves, or at least how they view the world.

It’s NEVER about you. It’s never personal. It can’t be!

How someone feels about or treats you only tells you how THEY feel/experience life, not an objective truth about you — and vice versa.

(NOTE: Same goes for you. If you don’t like someone, even if a bunch of other people also think they’re an asshole, it says so much more about you, your beliefs, and your hangups. I mean, yeah, they’re probably an asshole, too.)

25. Loving yourself is the answer to almost all your problems.

I don’t care if that sounds too generalized.

I believe it, and it’s my birthday, damn it.

26. Don’t date a DJ.

I’m sorry, but have you EVER met someone who was like, “Omg, I am so happy I dated my ex, who, btw, was a DJ. He was totally not a douche”?

No! You haven’t!

Don’t! DO IT!!!!!

26 things I’ve learned (that really helped me) in 26 years